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13-04-2008
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#91
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Responder
Vehicle: Defender 110 Utility
Responder No: YR009
Call Sign: M0PLR
Region: East Riding of Yorkshire
Location: Wawne (HULL)
Posts: 7,669
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Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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17-04-2008
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#92
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YR4x4R Control Team
Vehicle: Ford Focus
Responder No: YR004
Call Sign: M0ZNH
Region: East Riding of Yorkshire
Location: Pollington
Posts: 497
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When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on
a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will
notice that in small print there is a statement:
'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested
and then sanitized. '
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do
not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &
Johnson.'
REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE flibbleflibbleflibbleflibble THAN YOURS!
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18-04-2008
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#93
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YR4x4R Control Team
Vehicle: Ford Focus
Responder No: YR004
Call Sign: M0ZNH
Region: East Riding of Yorkshire
Location: Pollington
Posts: 497
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1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2007
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )
6. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟
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23-04-2008
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#94
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Responder
Vehicle: Defender 110 Utility
Responder No: YR009
Call Sign: M0PLR
Region: East Riding of Yorkshire
Location: Wawne (HULL)
Posts: 7,669
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General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him
concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about
gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback
lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between
a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to
sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these
young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and
shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle
range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to
be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not
one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended
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23-04-2008
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#99
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Guest
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http://bl138w.blu138.mail.live.com/m....8&d=d374&mf=0
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. ' I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
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